今天在facebook看到了stef的一个short note。。。。。。
虽然只是短短的一句， 那已经足够写下了她的感受。。。。。。
我当然明白她的心情，
原来我也有同样的感受。。。。。。
不一样的是她的是‘人‘，
我的是‘心‘。。。。。。
“Especially you're the one left behind"
不管是什么reason也好。。。。
给人抛弃的哪一个永远都是失去最多的那一个。。。。。。。。
分开是疼的。。。。。
感觉不见了身体的那一个部份。。。。。
还是生命和心都没了一半留下在这个地球的哪一个角落，
你其实是在，可是我是感觉不到你得存在。。。。。。
说一只是我和stef有不同的看法。。。。。。
和她聊了一下， 我也感觉得到她的不开心。。。。。。
毕竟第一次分开难免会不习惯，觉得空空的，
可是也要去面对把。。。。。。。。
多坎坷的事情也要有勇气去面对。。。。。。。
和她说了满口的道理去安慰她，
但是自己呢？
却没有办反面对，去接受。。。。。
我依然是要难过的，
我既然为了一些很小的决定也感到dilemma.......
杨淑敏!你到底做什么。。。。。。
我也忘记到底以前我们是这么样相除的。。。。。。。
我能够做是好好的prepared我自己to look the best!
可是没有人知道是很难的。。。。。
哪一个可以说个我听是很难？？？
我只是知道难可是没有想到是非常的难，
NO LIMITATION OF amount的：-
1）ARE YOU OKAY?
2)IT'll GET BETTER
3)DON'T WORRY
4)YOU WILL GET USED
ALL THIS 4SENTENCES 不会让我好过。。。。。。。
当每个人都和你说this 4 sentences.....
你就问她/他 ：你到底能了解多少？
你能体味我现在的感受吗？
不管感受如何， 也要面对。。。。。。。。
最后决定是面对，
逃避不能让我好过。。。。。。。
要和不要之间到底是什么？
爱与不爱的之间是什么？
那么难过和开心之间呢？
从新在见面的时候。。。。。
我能接受你吗？
我也不懂。。。。。。。。。。。。
我只是知道 ：你的心理开的那一天， 就是我感觉到已经不会再一样的那一天。。。。。。。。
“THE DAY 'YOU' WENT AWAY....WAS THE DAY 'I' FOUND IT WON'T BE THE SAME"
****原来我和stef的感觉是一样。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
New Year & Happy CNY
Happy New Year~~
This is the first time i write for 2009.....
Though write it in Chinese...but too lazy edi....
that's why write in English is faster......
Recently so tired.....every time when thinks on writing the blog...
suddenly will feel sleepy.........
At the very beginning, this year wishes will be 'HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY'.....
Look easy but hard to reach on this.........
Assignment, exam and dissertation always keeps on running in my mind....
No time breathe d....even dun have single mood to talk.....
Admit myself most of the time also quite talkative but recently really doesn't have any mood to talk........
Moreover, there is something that confuse me......
hoping to get rid very soon! try my best! try my best!!! remind myself try my best!!!
Doesn't want to have any disappointment feeling anymore.....no energy to fight....also don't have chips to keep on losing....................
Happy CNY~~~
Feels extremely happy when reach CNY......
means there is one more chance for me to start a new life again.....
But two days before this, i had received a bad news.......
Best friend's mum pass away in an accident......
Firstly feel shock....but still can remain normal......
But at nite i know that there is no way to pretend....
An outsider like me also will cry badly.....what about the daughter?
I cant imagine what is my bestie's feelings......
Wish to call her but what can i said?
She is so tough.......i mean always tough....but the truth is she is just keeping those things in her heart........this is what i worry....
Ppl said life still goes on no matter what happened....but if this things happened on you.......can you said 'life still goes on?".
Is not happened on ownself and we will not know the actual feeling.....teach people on how to act always much more easier than we act it on our own......
This remind me a lot of thing........
If there is no tomorrow for me, i hope i will be honest to myself at least for today..........
Nobody can predict what happened in the next second.........
Shuld i do it? Its kindled dilemma.......
I hope i can do it........if not maybe i will feel regret for the rest of my life...... the same things will happened like before.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is the first time i write for 2009.....
Though write it in Chinese...but too lazy edi....
that's why write in English is faster......
Recently so tired.....every time when thinks on writing the blog...
suddenly will feel sleepy.........
At the very beginning, this year wishes will be 'HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY'.....
Look easy but hard to reach on this.........
Assignment, exam and dissertation always keeps on running in my mind....
No time breathe d....even dun have single mood to talk.....
Admit myself most of the time also quite talkative but recently really doesn't have any mood to talk........
Moreover, there is something that confuse me......
hoping to get rid very soon! try my best! try my best!!! remind myself try my best!!!
Doesn't want to have any disappointment feeling anymore.....no energy to fight....also don't have chips to keep on losing....................
Happy CNY~~~
Feels extremely happy when reach CNY......
means there is one more chance for me to start a new life again.....
But two days before this, i had received a bad news.......
Best friend's mum pass away in an accident......
Firstly feel shock....but still can remain normal......
But at nite i know that there is no way to pretend....
An outsider like me also will cry badly.....what about the daughter?
I cant imagine what is my bestie's feelings......
Wish to call her but what can i said?
She is so tough.......i mean always tough....but the truth is she is just keeping those things in her heart........this is what i worry....
Ppl said life still goes on no matter what happened....but if this things happened on you.......can you said 'life still goes on?".
Is not happened on ownself and we will not know the actual feeling.....teach people on how to act always much more easier than we act it on our own......
This remind me a lot of thing........
If there is no tomorrow for me, i hope i will be honest to myself at least for today..........
Nobody can predict what happened in the next second.........
Shuld i do it? Its kindled dilemma.......
I hope i can do it........if not maybe i will feel regret for the rest of my life...... the same things will happened like before.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Tag by Sis = That's why going to TAG ppl...-.-'
Name 15 closest ppl 2 u(includin d person hu tagged u if u think he/she is close 2 u):
a.Theng Theng
b.Esther Wong (Ah Peak)
c.Carmen Tan (Ah Wen)
d.Chew Soon Yee ( ShunRuu)
e.Vincent Lai (Tet Chon)
f.Cheah Wai Meng (Sammi)
g.Oswin Tan (Ah Beng)
h.Cindy Tan (Cincy)
i.Kc Lee (Chuency)
j.Katrina Hon (Yen Ting)
k.Christopher Tay (Chrisy)
l.Simmons Lew ( Chee How)
m.Yoong Sze Mun
n.Tan Wan Jin
o.Tan Yann Hwa
I.What is L's full name?
Lew Chee How.... of course i remember....my driver what.... :)
2.What is ur relationshp with h?
Pet and Owner...my kitten la...hehe....Actually is one of my dearie :)
3.What type of person is a?
Haha...this one ah.... noisy and sturborn...dunno look like who...but ho...she is always the cutest in my heart! no one can compare =p
4.How do you got 2 knw b?
I know her since standard 4 (10years old), we're joining the band group...start from that day onwards...we're ji mui edi...:)(the besties)
5.What does d wants 2 b when she grows up?
My childhood friends....also ji mui ranking... she will be an accountant very soon! congrats..... :)
6.Is it possible 4 f and k to married in d future?
Please la....0% possible...they dunno each other and the important is they are both guys! except they going to become gay later....=p
7.Who is m's favorite actor or actress?
Waw...all handsome and pretties also is her favorite.....hard to specified... :)
8.Does i hv any bf or gf?
Got la..got la.... Cincy kitten is her gf lo....lolz
9.How is c's family background?
She is one of my besties...eldest of four.... family bg? sure good! nothing can compare :)
10.Did u ever kissed n b4?
Of course ah...my cousins what....just 10 years old...kiss dou ng kiss...muacks!
11.What is e's favourite drama?
Tis one ah...also a lot wo....he likes drama-ing...cant reli know it..haha XD
12.Does j ever make u angry b4?
My dear wo....angry also wont be long, moreover she always treats me nice...:)
13.What is g's occupation?
A UTAR FULL TIME STUDENT IN ADVERTISING....XD
14.Is o a funny person and does she ever make u laugh b4?
My another cousin?? haha...of course la.... he always can make me laugh....XD
15.Is b preety /handsem??Describe her looks..
Of course! always pretty in my heart! from top to bottom also pretty...so no need describe..part part also nice! hehe....
16.What is u saddest moment together wt j?
haha...saddest ah? let me think think...happy got a lot la...if saddest de...maybe is when we have misunderstanding...:)
17.Will c and l be a great couple?
Argh...will not happened, okay?
18.Is a clever or stupid?
My sis wo....u said clever or stupid....of course same clever as me!!! :)
19.Does k hates n?
Why have to hates a little girl? haha...summore they dunno each other... wan hate also impossible la...
20.Does e has any secret admirer??
Haha...gt gt.....but cant tell...shhhh....secret here
21.Did u argue wt f b4???
Nolah, wont argue...cozz he wont argue with me...he always damn tolerance with me de.... never gt chance to argue...if gt also only is me who scold him...haha....
22.Who is m's fav singer???
Nt sure wo....let me ask ask her first...hehe
23.What is ur happiest moment tat u share wt i???
Waw!! many!!! uncountable...need said which one first...haha....
24..Who is o's best friend?
haha....i dunno oh... never ask my cousin about who is his best friend wo.
25..Who is l's important person in his/her life?
err....this one ahh...parents? haha....maybe gt another gua....hehe
26. What's c and k means to u?
Both means a lot.....how lot? no difference in any categories. C is my besties what...of course meaningful...K is my puppy...haha..joking la....
U must tag at least 5 ppl after u hv finish answering all d questions..
PPL In Trouble:
1.Katrina Hon
2.Simmons Lew
3.Vincent Lai
4.Kc Lee
5.SoonYee Chew
a.Theng Theng
b.Esther Wong (Ah Peak)
c.Carmen Tan (Ah Wen)
d.Chew Soon Yee ( ShunRuu)
e.Vincent Lai (Tet Chon)
f.Cheah Wai Meng (Sammi)
g.Oswin Tan (Ah Beng)
h.Cindy Tan (Cincy)
i.Kc Lee (Chuency)
j.Katrina Hon (Yen Ting)
k.Christopher Tay (Chrisy)
l.Simmons Lew ( Chee How)
m.Yoong Sze Mun
n.Tan Wan Jin
o.Tan Yann Hwa
I.What is L's full name?
Lew Chee How.... of course i remember....my driver what.... :)
2.What is ur relationshp with h?
Pet and Owner...my kitten la...hehe....Actually is one of my dearie :)
3.What type of person is a?
Haha...this one ah.... noisy and sturborn...dunno look like who...but ho...she is always the cutest in my heart! no one can compare =p
4.How do you got 2 knw b?
I know her since standard 4 (10years old), we're joining the band group...start from that day onwards...we're ji mui edi...:)(the besties)
5.What does d wants 2 b when she grows up?
My childhood friends....also ji mui ranking... she will be an accountant very soon! congrats..... :)
6.Is it possible 4 f and k to married in d future?
Please la....0% possible...they dunno each other and the important is they are both guys! except they going to become gay later....=p
7.Who is m's favorite actor or actress?
Waw...all handsome and pretties also is her favorite.....hard to specified... :)
8.Does i hv any bf or gf?
Got la..got la.... Cincy kitten is her gf lo....lolz
9.How is c's family background?
She is one of my besties...eldest of four.... family bg? sure good! nothing can compare :)
10.Did u ever kissed n b4?
Of course ah...my cousins what....just 10 years old...kiss dou ng kiss...muacks!
11.What is e's favourite drama?
Tis one ah...also a lot wo....he likes drama-ing...cant reli know it..haha XD
12.Does j ever make u angry b4?
My dear wo....angry also wont be long, moreover she always treats me nice...:)
13.What is g's occupation?
A UTAR FULL TIME STUDENT IN ADVERTISING....XD
14.Is o a funny person and does she ever make u laugh b4?
My another cousin?? haha...of course la.... he always can make me laugh....XD
15.Is b preety /handsem??Describe her looks..
Of course! always pretty in my heart! from top to bottom also pretty...so no need describe..part part also nice! hehe....
16.What is u saddest moment together wt j?
haha...saddest ah? let me think think...happy got a lot la...if saddest de...maybe is when we have misunderstanding...:)
17.Will c and l be a great couple?
Argh...will not happened, okay?
18.Is a clever or stupid?
My sis wo....u said clever or stupid....of course same clever as me!!! :)
19.Does k hates n?
Why have to hates a little girl? haha...summore they dunno each other... wan hate also impossible la...
20.Does e has any secret admirer??
Haha...gt gt.....but cant tell...shhhh....secret here
21.Did u argue wt f b4???
Nolah, wont argue...cozz he wont argue with me...he always damn tolerance with me de.... never gt chance to argue...if gt also only is me who scold him...haha....
22.Who is m's fav singer???
Nt sure wo....let me ask ask her first...hehe
23.What is ur happiest moment tat u share wt i???
Waw!! many!!! uncountable...need said which one first...haha....
24..Who is o's best friend?
haha....i dunno oh... never ask my cousin about who is his best friend wo.
25..Who is l's important person in his/her life?
err....this one ahh...parents? haha....maybe gt another gua....hehe
26. What's c and k means to u?
Both means a lot.....how lot? no difference in any categories. C is my besties what...of course meaningful...K is my puppy...haha..joking la....
U must tag at least 5 ppl after u hv finish answering all d questions..
PPL In Trouble:
1.Katrina Hon
2.Simmons Lew
3.Vincent Lai
4.Kc Lee
5.SoonYee Chew
Thursday, December 18, 2008
不想受伤，只好放弃
最近突然和五哥哥联络起来
哥哥说我变了很多，
他说不可以第一眼就认的我。。。。。
其实我也是啊。。。。。
我也不相信那个是他如果不是七哥哥说，
我想了很多，
也想决定很多，
可是最后我什么都想不到，
也不要说去决定什么，
有人跟我说我每一次要的都是不适合我的，
不管从哪一个开始，
我都在错，
哥哥要我放弃，
朋友也说放弃吧。。。。
是最好的决定，
可是我好像放弃不到。。。。。
没办法了，
我只有放弃这一个choice,
不想也没有办法，
因为我不要让自己变得那么辛苦，
七年的事情之后，
我跟自己说过，
我一定要好好的爱我自己，
我知道我心情最近变得非常的不好，
脾气也不好，
因为我自己要的是什么我也不懂，
我好不容易好起来，
我不可能回到以前的生活，
说我selfish，
我也是没有办法
当难过已经代替了开心，
那个感觉对我来说已经变了，
多么的不想放手，也要放，
很明白自己没有能力去伤第二次，
以前到现在都喜欢做over自己能力的事，
以后我也会那样把。。。。。。
可是这一次不可以，
我还要生活下去，
刚刚半死的状态好起来，
一定要好好保护自己，
虽然很可惜，
不过好过以后发现已经太晚了，
真的很累。。。。。。。
还好有人support。。。。。
在难过也可以渡过把。。。。。。。
哭了之后醒过来有是brand new day.....
哥哥说我变了很多，
他说不可以第一眼就认的我。。。。。
其实我也是啊。。。。。
我也不相信那个是他如果不是七哥哥说，
我想了很多，
也想决定很多，
可是最后我什么都想不到，
也不要说去决定什么，
有人跟我说我每一次要的都是不适合我的，
不管从哪一个开始，
我都在错，
哥哥要我放弃，
朋友也说放弃吧。。。。
是最好的决定，
可是我好像放弃不到。。。。。
没办法了，
我只有放弃这一个choice,
不想也没有办法，
因为我不要让自己变得那么辛苦，
七年的事情之后，
我跟自己说过，
我一定要好好的爱我自己，
我知道我心情最近变得非常的不好，
脾气也不好，
因为我自己要的是什么我也不懂，
我好不容易好起来，
我不可能回到以前的生活，
说我selfish，
我也是没有办法
当难过已经代替了开心，
那个感觉对我来说已经变了，
多么的不想放手，也要放，
很明白自己没有能力去伤第二次，
以前到现在都喜欢做over自己能力的事，
以后我也会那样把。。。。。。
可是这一次不可以，
我还要生活下去，
刚刚半死的状态好起来，
一定要好好保护自己，
虽然很可惜，
不过好过以后发现已经太晚了，
真的很累。。。。。。。
还好有人support。。。。。
在难过也可以渡过把。。。。。。。
哭了之后醒过来有是brand new day.....
Monday, December 15, 2008
My 3 Tops LOVEY-DOVEY...muacksss
I WILL OWN THESE THREE MALTESE, TOY POODLE AND SHIH TZU IN FUTURE (VERY SOON)!!! *Muackssss*
Monday, December 1, 2008
放放放。。。。。。。。。。
我很累。。。。真的很累。。。。。。
我已经没有力气，为何就不可以了解吗？
不要让我觉的讨厌，
一路走下去我都没有忘记我的承诺，
为了承诺，我放弃了很多。。。。
这样还不满意？？
要我这么做？
把我变成很辛苦。。。。。。。。。。。。。
现在到了要自己骗自己的感觉，
我是说过，
不要每一份每一秒都想办法去CONTROL我，
我不生气不代表我没有权力,
很想透透气。。。。。
你需要时间，
我需要空间。。。。。
我不喜欢现在的一切。。。。。。。。。。。
放开我，
放开你自己，
难道你一点都不辛苦？
我非常的辛苦，
我跟你说过，
我不适合你，
你说可以慢慢培养，
已经培养了一段时间，
我还是没有感觉。。。。。。。。
你想我用什么来跟你在一起？
喜欢我很久不代表很伟大，
你说很想为我好，
可是你现在是为我好吗？
从小到现在我都是想 MONOPOLY。。。。。
可是你不是我想 MONOPOLY 的那一个。。。。。。
对你我只有感谢。。。。。。。。
其实想说的，
你的SURPRISE原来对我来说是SHOCK...............
求求你不要再这样下去，
I CANT STAND THAT LONGER.......
你不累，
可是我会死，
我已经没有力气，为何就不可以了解吗？
不要让我觉的讨厌，
一路走下去我都没有忘记我的承诺，
为了承诺，我放弃了很多。。。。
这样还不满意？？
要我这么做？
把我变成很辛苦。。。。。。。。。。。。。
现在到了要自己骗自己的感觉，
我是说过，
不要每一份每一秒都想办法去CONTROL我，
我不生气不代表我没有权力,
很想透透气。。。。。
你需要时间，
我需要空间。。。。。
我不喜欢现在的一切。。。。。。。。。。。
放开我，
放开你自己，
难道你一点都不辛苦？
我非常的辛苦，
我跟你说过，
我不适合你，
你说可以慢慢培养，
已经培养了一段时间，
我还是没有感觉。。。。。。。。
你想我用什么来跟你在一起？
喜欢我很久不代表很伟大，
你说很想为我好，
可是你现在是为我好吗？
从小到现在我都是想 MONOPOLY。。。。。
可是你不是我想 MONOPOLY 的那一个。。。。。。
对你我只有感谢。。。。。。。。
其实想说的，
你的SURPRISE原来对我来说是SHOCK...............
求求你不要再这样下去，
I CANT STAND THAT LONGER.......
你不累，
可是我会死，
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